When a child becomes parentified.
The trauma of growing up too fast. When you were a young child you needed to be just a child. Doing age appropriate things with plenty of time to play, explore, and daydream. Unfortunately, many of us grew up too quickly. We were forced to take on roles that the...
6 Signs You’re Dealing With A Withholder.
Never beg for time, love or attention. How many times in your life have you been left hanging? Suspended in time waiting for love, affection, information, someone to call, message, show up? If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, then I bet more times than...
7 Red Flags you should never ignore.
The difference between toxic behavior and narcissistic fleas. It usually starts out the same way. You meet someone charming and charismatic. They flatter you and promise to deliver the sun and the moon. There’s an alchemical pull that feels familiar and exciting. It’s...
7 Ways to Honor Thy Narcissistic Mother and Thyself.
An unloved daughter’s roadmap to forgiveness. Maternal narcissism is difficult to talk about because it violates a taboo about expected maternal behavior. Society feels safer denying that it exists, often shaming the daughter for speaking out. “But she’s your mother…...
6 signs you are in a trauma bond
If it doesn’t feel like love, it isn’t love. The day my divorce was finalized, I picked up the phone to wish a close family member a happy birthday. I had been vulnerable enough with them to share that I’d had a brief but difficult marriage and was getting a divorce....
What narcissistic abuse looks like.
It’s not always as obvious as you think Before I had language to describe and understand the abusive relationship I was in, I did not know I was in an abusive relationship. There were things that felt off and behaviors that felt hurtful, but I did not have a model or...
What a cat taught me about trust.
7 tips to help you stop trusting the wrong people. In my coaching practice different themes show up. When they repeat, they catch my attention. One such pattern is the trauma that arises from trusting the wrong people. It could be a narcissistic romantic partner, a...
9 signs you are being negged by someone
If you notice these signs of emotional abuse, run. I recently met someone who was funny, smart and super fun to be around. The conversation flowed and it seemed like we could talk for hours about anything. I was charmed to say the least. But then something shifted....
What a dung beetle taught me about codependency.
“You deal with your sh*t and leave me to deal with mine.” One of the defining traits of codependency is being a fixer and a rescuer. Even though a person is withholding, unreliable, emotionally unavailable, cruel or has substance abuse or mental health issues, the...